An (Un)divided Heart

Wow! What a week!  I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time in Haiti with the FT team and plan to tell you all about it here (and hopefully in person) in the days to come.  What’s standing out to me most right now is best described in a comment a friend posted on my Facebook wall yesterday that read:

 

“How many places can you leave a piece of your heart?”

 

I am beginning to wonder this very question myself.  The comment was prompted by the fact that I had received an e-mail newsletter from Musana Children’s Home in Uganda, where I spent the month of June.  My week in Haiti brought up so many memories of that trip.  The other exciting connection between these two experiences is that the newsletter outlined all the building projects that have taken place and been completed in the months since I left Musana… new verandas for the cabins, a beautiful new church, a dining area, a kitchen and more.  To hear of how these things have come together so quickly gives hope for the process that has begun at the Children of Israel Orphanage in Torbeck, Haiti.

 

In this all though, I agree with my friend, that my heart can quickly become divided…and even broken.  Not only would I still rather be in the WARM weather wearing a skirt in Haiti, I would love to still be there loving on those children, twisting wires on the cabin that they will one day live in, learning new words in Creole in order to better be able to share the love of Christ with them. 

 

Yes, a portion of my heart remains today in Haiti.  And a portion of my heart still remains in Uganda.  And a portion of my heart is in Seward NE and Wichita KS and at camp and more.

 

When I stop to think about it, I start to wonder “REALLY… how many places CAN I leave a part of my heart?”  But earlier today I was reminded of a quote by Elisabeth Elliot that seems to fit this situation:

 

"One morning I was reading the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. ‘Let me have them,’ said Jesus. He asked for all.  He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before he gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said: ‘If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces of me will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.’"

 

If I experience brokenness in my life when I give all I am and have to Jesus, it’s really an okay thing.  It’s because pieces will feed many, whereas, if I prefer to keep up a mentality of self-preservation, I may not feel as broken or torn in moments like this, but I certainly, will not feel “whole.” 

 

Psalm 86:11 says “Teach me your way O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” 

 

THAT is where wholeness is found… in seeking the One and only truth and walking in His way.  Teach me that Way, O Lord! Back in June, God’s Way took me to Africa.  This past week, that Way took me to Haiti… and yes, those beautiful children in both places stole a little piece of my heart.  Today, though, God’s Way brings me back to New York.   When my prayer is to have an undivided heart, focused on Christ, I can rest in knowing that no matter how many places I leave pieces my heart, as I take each step in the the direction of God’s way, my heart will become more and more whole.

 

“If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces of me will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.” ~ Ruth Stull

 

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(A song I wrote a few months ago that seems to fit with this post:)

 

Undivided

 

Teach me Your way, oh Lord,
and I will walk in Your truth.
Teach me to fear your name with an
undivided heart.

 

Teach me your peace, oh God,
which transcends all understanding.
In Jesus Christ please guard my heart; give me an
undivided mind.

 

Teach me to love, Oh Lord,
with all my heart, with all my mind,
with all my strength, with all I am, teach me
undivided love.

 

Undivided – perfect and true
Undistracted – focused on You
Undiminished – Constantly
Unswerving, whole hearted, giving glory to Thee

Teach me Your way, oh Lord,
Teach me Your peace
Teach me to love, Oh Lord, 
With an
undivided life.