Written August 13, 2016 … 2 days after becoming “mom”:
So I picked up Elisa this weekend. Yep, this is real… And crazy and perhaps really crazy. At the same time, not crazy at all, but somehow normal. At different points I stop and think “what am I doing?” and at certain points I’m sure the reality (insanity?) of it all will probably hit me harder but at the same time it feels okay and good even. I interact with teenagers all the time… Most people seem to get along with me just fine so why shouldn’t she… I actually enjoy leading and guiding and mentoring through things and that’s what this is. I like being able to say “we’ll figure it out together”. Yes it may be crazy, but it seems right… Right where I’m supposed to be right now.
My heart tends to lean toward wondering what other people think. Seeking approval is rarely a good thing, but it’s true. Lord, help me with that. That being said it did my heart good to see a post Elisa put on Instagram, I suppose introducing me to her family and friends back home (at least that’s what I’m assuming the Faroese meant).
The best translation I can come up with is that it says “me and my ‘fitta’ American mom”
When looking up “fitta” I found:
“Smart… Capable… Brave”
I’m pretty sure those aren’t the best translations and not quite what she was going for, but I guess I’ll take it!
At first I resisted these titles in my mind. But then I realized that in Jesus, these can each be true of this year (even if that’s not at all the translation she was going for). I am smart to be in what I believe is God’s will for me… Following His lead into the world of instant, temporary parenthood. Capable. This is probably the one I most resist… Am I REALLY capable? But then I remember … It’s never about my abilities anyway. It’s always all about Jesus and his strength and power and wisdom in my life. “Apart from him I can do nothing.” Brave. Okay so this one I believe… Volunteering to parent a teenager you’ve never met before for 10 months whose first language is not English and came from across the world. Okay … That takes some bravery, yet again, the courage and confidence is not in myself but in trusting God goes before me and walks beside me and will be able to simply mirror the bravery in Elisa for actually coming here… in being adventurous … in trying new things and living life to the fullest. If you ever read this, I’m already so proud of you Elisa! I can’t wait to see what this year holds together!