31 Days of Instant Motherhood

A deep breath

The other night I got to go to a book signing where Ann Voskamp was speaking and kicking off her tour with her brand new book, “The Broken Way.”

The day was packed… get Elisa up and out the door, get myself out the door, a busy morning at work, an awesome afternoon of ministry at the University, back to the office to wrap things up before picking up dinner quick on the way to Elisa’s playoff volleyball game and leaving right as the last point was put on the board to drive 25 minutes to arrive just as the Q&A part was ending.  I wondered if it was worth adding this one more thing in, worth the 25 minute drive, worth what ended up being almost a 15-hour day away from home.  But as I settled in to hear the last moments of Ann speak, the doubts began to fade.  The fade continued as I found a seat next to a dear friend and we finally had time to sit, be still, be near each other and truly hear each other, to share life together as we waited for the book signing line to dwindle.  A chance to breathe deep and gather strength for the next thing. 

And then now, a few days later, after another crazy day of looking around at so much brokenness and pain in the world in general and the lives of people I love, I finally crack open that signed book and these words meet me:

“Rebekah, never be afraid of broken things… He is redeeming everything.” 

And I continue on through chapter 1 and know this book will be a deep breath each time I break it open:

“Hannah tasted salty tears of infertility. Elijah howled for God to take his life.  David asked his soul a thousand times why it was so downcast.  God does great things through the greatly wounded.  God sees the broken as the best and sees the best in the broken and He calls the wounded to be the world changers.” (Pg 24)

And I think of little Aiden and Hezekiah, little guys in hospitals right now, recovering from surgeries … and dream of the ways they will change the world… and maybe they already have. 

And two dear friends who both headed to Wisconsin this week; two different stories of sick parents, one entering hospice, the other struggling with complications with cancer… God sees the broken hearts of my friends and meets them there.

And if you try to turn on the news or glance at a paper, my heart hurts for the brokenness that seems to bleed on every page, every story.

And the days I ask why or how or what in the world I am doing on this earth…

So on the awesome days and the hard days, and simply the long, crazy, running from thing to thing days, this truth gives grace and space to breathe deep: 

“The seed breaks to give us the wheat. The soil breaks to give us the crop, the sky breaks to give us the rain, the wheat breaks to give us the bread. And the bread breaks to give us the feast. … never be afraid of a broken thing.  … Brokenness can make an abundance.” (Pg. 25-26)

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