Conflicting Calls

I don’t understand
how the call of Jesus can be so clear,
yet so confusing.

The call is grace.
Compassionate eyes seek us out and embrace
even the most broken place
of our souls.

When sin & despair,
loss & suffering,
hopelessness & addiction,
threaten to overtake,
our Savior steps in.
He covers it all.
Freedom is the call.

Yet, with that call comes another:
To look after each other
To give beyond our limits
To sacrifice.
There’s a cost,
a price.

And my heart is unsure
how to piece it all together.

The calls are simultaneous,
yet a paradoxical tension appears.

Give everything.
Receive everything.

Come & rest.
Lay down your own needs for others.

Just come and be with Me.
Go. Be with them.

Pray. Wait. Trust.
Work hard at all you do.

But perhaps it’s more of a rhythm than a contradiction.
Like tides coming in
And going out.

We give because we receive.
We’re able to sacrifice because we first know the depths of grace.
We learn to meet the needs of others
from letting the Shepherd meet ours in a place of rest.

Movement and rhythm.
Back and forth.

We come and eat.
Then, go and feed.
We come and rest
So we can invite others in
to a space of grace.
We come and see
And go tell what we’ve seen
Who we’ve seen
The One who sees us.

I’d still like it all to be a little more clear.
But for now, maybe it’s enough to know:
We can’t do this call “wrong”,
if we’re listening to and following
the Shepherd’s voice.

Keep calling, Jesus.
Keep calling.