Tag: faith

Lent

Giving Up Going Through the Motions

Rebekah Freed

I am currently reading the book, “Killing Christians: Living the Faith Where It’s Not Safe To Believe” by Tom Doyle.  I’ve had it on my “to-read” list for a while, but recently have had a few extra reasons to actually get it out and get started.

This book is good, but hard.  It tells the stories of Christians around the world who truly live in places where believing in Jesus could cost them their early lives.  Sometimes the things they endure and live through perhaps even seem worse that dying.

Here is one small example:

“The sober joy of their decisions to remain in Syria brought them to a point of business few believers ever have to discuss.  The men agreed to pool their funds and buy a plot of land, preparing for what would certainly come.  It would be the graveyard where they would bury each other.” (Page 40)

I’m not exactly sure what to say after that.  Thankfully, at least at the publishing of the book, they were glad to say that their graveyard it still empty, but the reality that people have to make decisions like that is many times completely foreign from my experience as a Christian.

cemetery-989920_960_720

This book, combined with a few other current experiences in my life, is changing me.  I realize that our world, even our American culture is and will continue to become more and more difficult to live in as a Christian.  Since the United States was started, Christianity had been the “norm”… but that is no longer the case.  The fact that it had been the norm is really the exception to what it typically the case.  Again and again, throughout Scripture we see and are reminded that we shouldn’t be surprised when hard things happen to us as Christians, or even because we are Christians.

One of those places is John 15 which I’ve been trying to memorize.   Repeating verses like this over and over and over to try to get them in my brain does not really allow for a “going-through-the-motions” kind of faith:

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, it would have loved you as its own.  As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. … If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” John 15:19-20

So today, I pray that God would help me to stop going through the motions of my faith.  While I am thankful, beyond thankful, to live in a place where I don’t face extreme sacrifice and persecution for what I believe, I want to live as if my faith were life and death.

In the book a man name Farid, one of the men who purchased that graveyard” said this:

“Is your life about Jesus and nothing else?  When you may die at any moment, it has to be that way, but we’re all called to live only for him, no matter what.” (Pg 42)

Jesus, help me give up a life of going through the motions and truly live 100% for You no matter what!  Give me faith. Give me grace. Give me strength. Give me perseverance for whatever that looks like.  This is a scary prayer to pray, but I trust you Jesus! In Your Name I Pray, Amen

 

Anna's Story, The Exodus Road

Anna’s Story: Part Two – Slavery – Laos

Rebekah Freed

We’ve already journeyed with Anna through the process of being trafficked and today we venture deeper into part 2 of Anna’s story which involves her actual slavery. As you can tell from previous posts, I’ve chosen to write this story from the perspective of someone who knows Jesus. I did this for many reasons including understanding the reality that this can happen to ANYONE as well as imagining some of the struggles that might come in trusting that God even exists when one finds themselves in a situations like this. Yet, even amid the struggles and doubts Anna can draw hope and strength from Christ. However, we must remember that for many “Anna’s” around the world, a faith and hope in Jesus Christ is a completely foreign concept. They have absolutely NOTHING to draw hope from. As you read the next part of Anna’s story, pray for those, like Anna who do know Christ and ask God to encourage them and give them strength in that faith today. Also pray for those that don’t know Him, ask Him to work in miraculous ways to reveal Himself and His love and His hope no matter how hopeless their situations may seem. Lastly, continue pray for the many organizations, including The Exodus Road, who are working every day to rescue “Anna”s, and be a part of God restoring the world to himself. Check out the link above to see information about the latest rescues and ways to get involved.

Anna’s Story: Part Two – Slavery

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March 6, 2013
I’m so sick of this place, God. I don’t even feel like a human anymore. I never know when someone is telling me something true or when they’re just manipulating me into another awful situation. I tried so hard to get out of it. I demanded to be released… that only resulted in more… well, let’s just say I won’t do that again. Will I be here forever? I saw what happened to Alina and Regina when they tried to escape. I don’t have any money anyway and haven’t seen my passport since it got handed off to that Chinese guy on the bus days ago. So even if I got out, I wouldn’t make it far, especially since I kind of stand out here with my white skin. I guess the only way to survive is to just stay here. I don’t know how I’m going to go on. I don’t know if you can even hear me anymore God after all the things I’ve done but these few minutes that I get to sneak away with my journal every few days are the only thing that keeps me going so I guess you must be real in some way. If so, then help me do whatever they want me to do so I can stay alive.

March 10, 2013
Sunday. You would think being trapped in these dark rooms I’d loose track of the days, but I can always tell when it’s Sunday because we start earlier on Saturdays. I should be sleeping right now, especially with another long night ahead of us, but I can’t help but think of Marta, Ruslan, and Liza who are probably walking into the Cathedral in St. Petersburg right now. Do they even know I never made it to America? I can picture Pastor Peter at the front getting ready to teach from the Your Word. Oh the Bible. I wish I still had mine, but I’m so thankful for Mrs. Alena who told us to hide it in our hearts like Psalm 119 says. Sometimes some of those verses are the only thing that gets me through another night. Ones like Isaiah 41:10

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

If I’m honest, God it’s hard to believe that you are here, with me, in such an awful place. I don’t know if you’d ever come into a place like this, so dirty, so broken, but I remember the stories Mrs. Alena told us… I think there was even one about you talking with a prostitute. If that’s true, Jesus, then maybe there’s hope for me?!? Help me trust this is true and give me strength. One of the other verses from Psalm 103 she had us memorize says you forgive and heal and redeem our lives from the pit. I need you to save me from this pit, Jesus!

I wonder what hymns they’re singing at church today; I keep thinking about this one verse from one of my favorite ones:

Christ the Victorious, give to your servants
rest with your saints in the regions of light.
Grief and pain ended, and sighing no longer,
there may they find everlasting life

I can’t wait for that day Jesus! Bring me out of this pit I’m in. End the grief and pain. Give me a new song to sing because the only one in my heart right now is one of hopelessness and despair. And as I head off to sleep tonight, give me rest and strength, because I don’t know if I can live this life one more day.

Blessing

BLESSED!!!

Rebekah Freed

No words of my own right now, but a few from others I’d like to share.

 

 

First, this paraphrase of Matthew 5:3-5:

You’re blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God.  Because when you realize your need for God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasurable greatness and goodness.  You’re blessed when you’ve been stripped of that which is most precious to you.  Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One most precious to you.

 

Also, this passage from a devotional book quoted in a blog post I read this morning. 

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough! Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith–not by sight. This doesn’t mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible Shepherd of your soul.”

 

And lastly, this beautiful prayer that was used in the traditional worship service at First Trinity last night and this morning:

"O most loving Father, You want us to give thanks for all things, to fear nothing except losing You, to follow You faithfully, and to lay all our cares on You.  Protect us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and give us confidence in Your merciful love given to us in our Savior Jesus, in whose Name we pray. Amen.”

Bekah's Heart, Blessing, Joy

Vacations are for Detours

Rebekah Freed

I come ‘round the last curve in the road.  A smile grows on my face as contentment grows in my soul.   If I wasn’t sure before, I’m now convinced that this impromptu detour down “J-Hill” road was a great idea.

I can’t wait to get down the drive and park the car, quick turning off the radio allowing for the silence this place demands. 

I look around for a rock to carry up. Unsuccessful, but decide the rocks don’t have to be literal, my figurative ones will work just fine for today.

The ascent begins and I ponder… Was it really nearly 10 years ago that I made this climb for the first time?  I also recall some of the “rocks” I laid down here nearly a decade ago… some of the same burdens I’ve come here to lay down again today. 

I pass the crossbar and continue the hike, thankful that the frozen ground makes this journey a little easier than the typical summer day with shifting dirt and sliding rocks.  Near the top, I finally turn around.  The awe-inspiring view steals my breath once again.  

As if there were an automatic recording, the familiar tune and words begin to come out of my mouth…. “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary…”

I ponder again… how many times have I climbed this hill?  How many times have I sung that song?  How many rocks have I laid here… my sins, my burdens, my hurts, my joys.

I linger for a while but eventually begin the hike down to the car… hearing in my head the instructions that for many years came out of my mouth… “If you turn your feet sideways it makes it easier to get down without slipping.”  (As this thought passes through my head, I also slightly regret not changing into the gym shoes that were in the trunk.)

On my way down I pay specially attention to the names that remain on weather-worn rocks.

Luke.

Kylie.

Trina.

Julius.   I pause a little longer here.   

I wonder… What burdens or pains or hurts or sins might he have left there with his rock only weeks before he left every burden behind forever and went to the place of no more tears. 

Luke.

Anneka.

The names and rocks continue, some more familiar than others.  Each name representing the same thing…  a life changed in this place.  Each rock carries a story… one often known by God alone.   Each rock left there together forms a certain shape reminding… We are free.  Over the last decade, hundreds have made that same climb leaving behind their “junk.” And now, collectively, that “junk” is somehow able to point to our risen Lord.  To God Alone be the Glory!

Thanks God for today… for that spontaneous voice in my head that prompted my journey to 7821 Lyons Creek Road… one of the places in this world that has the label “home” in my heart … a place that gives a little glimpse into what our forever home will be like.

Bekah's Heart, Internship Highlights

‘Tis Good, Lord, To Be Here

Rebekah Freed

Today was a beautiful day.  I’m currently back at school in Nebraska for a Mid-Year Conference with all of the DCE interns from all over the world. These few days back on campus are hard to describe.  Most of us interns have used the word “weird” in that description more times than we probably can count.  It’s this interesting dynamic of loving this place but not really fitting in… at least not in the way we have in the past.  Our roles have shifted, and that’s okay.  In the midst of this awkward, indescribable, mid-way check point, it has been such a blessing to just see God presence everywhere I turn.  Here are just a few examples of where that was found today alone:

  •  A conversation with a beautiful woman with whom I’ve literally had one prior face to face conversation with before, yet somehow our hearts just know each other.  I don’t get it, but was so thankful for our time together this morning and God’s presence there.
  • Chapel.  I miss chapel.  What a wonderful REST was found in the very SIMPLE yet profound proclamation of the Gospel today as it was describe as a song, a melody that can, in a way, be the “background” music to our life.
  • Lunch (at Dragon Palace) with fellow interns, talking about anything and everything and nothing.
  • A chance to share with other DCE students our experiences and where we’ve seen God at work through our internships.
  • Being able to “pick up” friendships where they left off and just get straight to what really matters… to know and be known.  

As corny as it may sound, I really felt like the last verse of a hymn we sang in chapel today encapsulates this trip back to Concordia for me.

’Tis good, Lord, to be here.
Yet we may not remain;
But since Thou bidst us leave the mount,
Come with us to the plain.

It is so wonderful to be able to reflect and see all the many ways God has blessed my life through Concordia… to be able to come back and be overwhelmed in a good way… to realize the number of people through whom God has blessed me and made me who I am.  But now, as good as it is to be here, it’s obvious that this is not where I belong right now… and God comes with me to what’s next.

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Lord, ’tis truly good to be here… to behold Your beauty… to see You at work in my life and the lives of others… to hear and remember your gospel melody that accompanies my life.  And now, as I prepare to wrap this time here up, may You remind me of your promise to go with me and continue to open my heart and ears to that beautiful melody of Your love.  ‘Tis good Lord, to be Your child.  Thank You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Bekah's Heart

Content to Linger

Rebekah Freed

As I opened my Facebook page this afternoon, the first day of 2011, my eyes fell upon these words in the status of a friend:

We’re in no hurry, God. We’re content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you’ve done are all we’ll ever want. – Isaiah 26

I was struck by these words and began to wonder how many of us could actually say this is true about our lives… that we’re not in a hurry?… that God is all we’ll ever want?  Yet… this is the beautiful life God desires for us.

 

I assumed this was from the Message paraphrase of the Bible and searched quick on the internet to find out for sure.  When I did, I stumbled upon a blog post by a man named David Norman in which he said the following about this verse:

 

Isaiah spoke of a time when the people of God would find complete rest and peace and hope in God. He longed for the day when God would be enough for them. …  I wonder, sometimes, if I am obedient to the extent that I am "content to linger" where God places me. I often find myself pushing and stretching in order to accomplish these big dreams God has placed within me. Very rarely do I ever find myself in an area of rest where I am not moving toward something.

 

I’m guessing many of us (and definitely myself) can associate with David Norman in the fact that we’re always focused on the next thing.  Lately I’ve been learning a lot about the beauty of just letting something be.  Instead of just trying to plan and fix and change everything around me… I’m beginning to see what God means when he says that he want to change ME.

 

So, as I start a new year, I resolve to not have a list of resolutions to try to keep, goals to attempt to meet, or plans to fix what I might perceive as broken in my life.  Instead, God, this is what I want to be…

 

content to linger.

okay with standing still… with standing in pain… with standing in joy… with standing where you take me.

comfortable with simply being and refraining from trying and striving and pushing forward.

at ease with the path before me.

satisfied with letting You be more than enough for me.

resting in who You are and have made me to be. 

 

And in the process, this coming year will be blessed in greater ways than I could ever imagine with my own resolutions, goals, and plans.  This year… this day… this moment, Lord, teach me a way of life in which I’m truly able to say:

“I’m in no hurry, God.  I’m content to linger in the path You have for me.  Who You are and what You’ve done is all I ever want.”

Uncategorized

December 26th.

Rebekah Freed

(A re-post from a few years ago).

 

Well, officially, in the view of the world, Christmas is over.

All this hype leading up to that one day, December 25th.

We celebrate Jesus or we celebrate Santa.

The stockings that were hung by the chimney with care are now getting put back into boxes for next year.

We got up early that one day to see what Santa brought us.

The gifts that took time and energy and patience to stand in long lines, carefully hide and wrap beautifully are now torn open and strewn about the house, some games never to be played again.

Relatives travel home, decorations come down, sales at the mall begin to fade after a few days, and then we all sit around and wait another 365 days to do it all again right?

WRONG.

Why can’t we celebrate Christmas everyday?

Why not hang our worries like stockings each night and wake up to see that God has replaced them with joy.

Why not get up early every morning, anxious to see what God has planned for us for that day?

Why not give the actual gifts of time, energy, and patience and go out to serve others?

Why not have relatives come just for the fun of it to enjoy their presence?

Why not decorate our hearts with the love, joy, peace, and hope of Christ’s birth each and every day?

Instead of waiting to celebrate the birth of Jesus in 365 days, why not wait eagerly for THE day…. the day he’s coming back to take all those who believe to heaven with him?

 

Why not have Christmas everyday?!?!?!

MERRY CHRISTMAS… today and everyday!

Devotional

One Thing

Rebekah Freed

You probably know the story pretty well.  Jesus shows up to his friends’ house for a visit.  Martha runs off and begins preparing the meal in the kitchen.  Mary goes and listens to Jesus.  Martha gets mad, and starts complaining to Jesus.  Instead of agreeing, Jesus says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better…” 

 

 

I think I’ve probably heard this story over a hundred times.  That’s not to mention times it’s come up in conversations such as, “Well, there goes ‘Martha’ again.”  Or, “I sure do wish I could be like Mary more and just sit at Jesus’ feet.”

 

 

So when I began to read this story this morning I almost just skimmed right though it thinking, “Been there, read that, keep on going.”  But something caught my attention.  A four word phrase:

“one thing is needed”

 

 

“What is that one thing?” I wondered.

Well, Jesus of course. 

 

 

And I, again, went back to thinking about the many lessons/sermons I’ve heard, and books I’ve read talking about how we just need to sit at Jesus’ feet.

 

 

But today, I had a different train of thought with this story.  Go with me here for a minute.  So, it’s kind of obvious that the “one thing” is Jesus right.  So he’s saying, “I am the only thing you need.” 

 

 

I thought about it maybe as an invitation to Mary almost of saying, “Okay Mary, I’m all that’s needed to get everything done.  So, right come sit with me in the living room for a while so we can attend to what needs to happen here.  Then, when we’re done here, I’ll still the be the “One Thing” needed to help get everything done in the kitchen.  And then, when we finish there, the beds need to be made up, right.  Yes, even in making the beds, I’ll be the “One Thing” needed there as well.  Just follow me.  I’m all that’s needed and I’ll show you how you can help me accomplish the tasks before us.”

 

 

Yes, it seems that there are definitely good lessons to be learned about simply sitting at Jesus’ feet instead of being “worried” and “upset” about the many things to be done.  But maybe, just maybe, if we just realized that in the midst of those “many things,”  Jesus was more than enough, we wouldn’t be so worried and upset anyway. 

 

 

So as we head towards Christmas next week and the “many things” start to become “TOO many things” remember to pause and turn to the “One” who is more than enough for all our “things.”  Ask him what the next step is in today… and then the next… and then the next … and then the next.  And soon, we realize that the many things have been accomplished as we just focused on the One Thing most needed.

 

 

Only One thing is needed. 

Choose what is better. 

It will not be taken from you.

 

 

(I sure hope you were able to follow my thought process there.)

Bekah's Heart, Devotional

A Bold Prayer…

Rebekah Freed

It seems that a couple times a year, I stumble upon this prayer that I once read in a book.   And this morning, as I glanced back through some journals, I read it once again.

 

It’s a bold prayer…

A scary prayer…

A prayer that maybe we don’t really want to pray, because we know God answers prayer…

A beautiful prayer that gets ME out of the way and lets GOD do His work.

 

And so today, I pray for strength, courage, and GRACE to yet again, pray this prayer:

Lord,
Challenge me everyday.
Show up every weakness I have.
Play on my vulnerabilities.
Invest me with responsibilities that I might not handle well and
Put me right in the midst of Your salvation drama.
Amen. Let it be so.

Bekah's Heart, Devotional

Questions

Rebekah Freed

Questions.  They surround us everyday. Some arise over trivial things that really don’t matter much.  Others pound at the door of our hearts begging for answers. 

 

Questions like “What now?” when one loses his job. 

Questions like “How long?” when a loved one hears that dreaded “C” word, “Cancer”. 

Questions like “WHY?!?” when a loved one is taken from this earth “too soon.”

 

Though, as much as we desperately want answers, maybe we’re not supposed to get them…at least not now.  In a conversation today, Sue she shared with me this quote by Rainer Maria Rilke:

‎"Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer"

 

I think maybe Jesus was trying to tell us something similar when he spoke these words:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  … So do not worry… but seek first His kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.”

 

Each day will have it’s trouble.

Each day will have its questions.

Maybe instead of pounding at heaven’s door

demanding answers,

we can simply

come,

rest in our Savior’s embrace,

and let him quiet us with His love.

 

 

My dear child, I know you have questions… questions that your heart longs to have answered.  In my time and in my way, I will reveal those things.  But for now, just live.  Don’t beat yourself to death trying to find all the answers … just live in me.  Live in my love.  Live in my GRACE.  And I will keep giving you more grace…. and more grace… and more grace. …  and one day, you will have lived yourself into the answers and will forever live in a place with no more questions.  I love you, My child.  Come.  Let Me quiet you with My love.