Bekah's Heart, Poetry/Songs

Conflicting Calls

I don’t understand
how the call of Jesus can be so clear,
yet so confusing.

The call is grace.
Compassionate eyes seek us out and embrace
even the most broken place
of our souls.

When sin & despair,
loss & suffering,
hopelessness & addiction,
threaten to overtake,
our Savior steps in.
He covers it all.
Freedom is the call.

Yet, with that call comes another:
To look after each other
To give beyond our limits
To sacrifice.
There’s a cost,
a price.

And my heart is unsure
how to piece it all together.

The calls are simultaneous,
yet a paradoxical tension appears.

Give everything.
Receive everything.

Come & rest.
Lay down your own needs for others.

Just come and be with Me.
Go. Be with them.

Pray. Wait. Trust.
Work hard at all you do.

But perhaps it’s more of a rhythm than a contradiction.
Like tides coming in
And going out.

We give because we receive.
We’re able to sacrifice because we first know the depths of grace.
We learn to meet the needs of others
from letting the Shepherd meet ours in a place of rest.

Movement and rhythm.
Back and forth.

We come and eat.
Then, go and feed.
We come and rest
So we can invite others in
to a space of grace.
We come and see
And go tell what we’ve seen
Who we’ve seen
The One who sees us.

I’d still like it all to be a little more clear.
But for now, maybe it’s enough to know:
We can’t do this call “wrong”,
if we’re listening to and following
the Shepherd’s voice.

Keep calling, Jesus.
Keep calling.

Bekah's Heart

A Good Samaritan – Jesus Interruptions

This is kind of back-tracking a bit, but blogging about this week’s “Jesus Interruption” story made me think back to last week’s: The Good Samaritan. Each time I hear that story I am challenged to think of the ways I can be that person who allows the interruption in my schedule to help someone in need. But this week as I think of it, my mind goes a slightly different direction–I am suddenly reminded and overwhelmed at the countless times I’VE been the (wo)man on the side of the road and someone took the time in their day to pause and help me out.

I’m reminded of a camp counselor years ago, who took time with one of her middle school campers to encourage a soul that was hurting and confused and to call out in that girl who God had made her to be.

I’m reminded of friends who not only celebrate the great things in life but walk near in the times when life leaves me battered and bleeding on the side of the road. They’ve been there to clean me up and get me back in the race.

I’m reminded of professors and mentors in college who took time to help me figure out who I even was and think of DCEs who have and continue to encourage and walk with me in the ups and downs of ministry.

I’m reminded of all the little things that people have done as Good Samaritans in my life that may not seem upon the same level as “saving a life” but trust me, oh they are! … Inviting me to share a meal with their family on a day when I feel alone… helping me shovel snow or checking in to make sure I got home safe when out in bad weather… Showing up with flowers for no specific reason at all… teammates helping me set up for an event… And the list could go on.

So yes, I hope and truly pray that God would keep my eyes open for the ways I can be one who stops and really sees people and helps meet their needs. However, I also want to make sure to stop and praise Him for those who do that for ME.

Thank you! Really, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you! And thank You God for people who love me so much.

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Bekah's Heart, Mission Work, Poetry/Songs

But, God?!?

I’ve been reading through some of my old journals and thought I’d share this prayer/poem from the Summer of 2009 while I was the Site Coordinator at a camp.  May it remind us that we are not fit to serve God, but we are called and he’ll give us all we need to do the tasks he sets before us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit once again at the end of a day.
Content.
Yet heart burning inside.

God is big.
He does not fail.
I fail.
Often.

Each day, I wake up… by the grace of God.
Each day, I screw up… by my own sinful nature.
Each day… I fail.
Each day… He doesn’t.

Situations come.
“You’re in charge! Make a decision”
I don’t want to.

My final decision: Pray for wisdom.

Wisdom like Solomon.
Great insight.
A breadth of understanding.

Like Solomon, I too pray…
“I am only a little child, and do not know how to carry out my duties.” (1 Kings 3:7)

Lord,
“… give your servant a discerning heart.” (1 Kings 3:9)

I don’t understand why you’ve picked me, but here I am… called to serve… SEND ME!

Equip me! Strengthen me! Use me!

I am Yours!

Amen.