Uganda

Exactly one year ago today I returned to Buffalo from my first trip to Haiti.

Exactly one year ago today, I also was proposed to by one of the most amazing, godly, wonderful men I’ve ever met.

I can only imagine the reactions of some of you reading this right now…

Say, WHAT?!?

You’re engaged?

How didn’t I know about this?

What’s going on?

Did I miss the invitation to the wedding?

I guess I should continue by saying:

Exactly one year ago today, I made one of the best decisions of my life this far and said, “no”.

The story of how Isaac and I met (in Uganda) and the journey leading to a proposal is a great one and I’d be willing to share it with anyone who wants to hear about it. But for today, the ‘no’ is the important piece of the (extremely long) story.

As I said before, Isaac truly is one of the most amazing, godly men I’ve ever met in my entire life. He is passionate about sharing Jesus with others. He is well respected by the people in his family, at his job, in his town and by everyone who meets him. He cared for me and made sure I was protected while in some possibly dangerous situations in Uganda. He encouraged me in my calling to ministry and my calling as a child of God (and continues to do so as an amazing brother in Christ).

By now some of you are probably wondering why in the world I said “no”. While there are many reasons, one of the biggest reason is that I simply wasn’t in love with him.

Throughout the discussions about marriage that we had, and despite the fact that HE truly WAS in love with me, I slowly came to realize that one of the only reasons I continued to consider the prospect of getting married to Isaac was because I thought maybe that’s what God wanted me to do and I needed to prove my willingness to sacrifice for God. Sure, Isaac had many of the characteristics of the man I hope one day I get to call “husband,” but to move forward in a big life decision like this simply out of duty is NOT the life God has called us to.

In my striving for perfection, I set aside one of the most important gifts God desires to give us: JOY.

In the weeks and months of me seeking God for wisdom, guidance, and direction, I realized that if I stepped forward in this relationship and it really WAS God’s plan, he would bless it with joy and peace. Yet, as my heart leaned that way, there was nothing but confusion, duty, and sacrifice. I’m not saying that God’s plans for our lives don’t involve sacrifice, because they often do, but in my trying to follow God perfectly, I had forgotten that following God is just as much about finding joy in our lives (IN HIM) as it is sacrifice.

Another big issue was that God gave me my passions, gifts, desires, and talents for a reason. At that point in my life, I didn’t know where I was going to end up after my internship, but I could sense God’s calling loud and clear that I was supposed to be in America. Throughout the time I knew Isaac, I could tell that his passions and gifts were rooted in ministry in Uganda. As I said before, God’s plans for us are often different than our own and often include sacrifice. However, nothing I read in God’s Word points to a God who creates us with unique desires, passions, and gifts for ministry in His Kingdom only to tell us to ignore it all. Instead, the God I know and love gives us opportunities to use all that in a way that brings Him glory.

In my striving for perfection, I lost sight of this truth:

My God loves me.

He doesn’t love me because I was willing to give up everything and marry a guy (I didn’t really love) and move to Africa. He also doesn’t love me because I stayed here in America to serve him. He doesn’t love me BECAUSE of anything I do.

He just simply loves me… imperfection and all. No ‘ifs’, ‘ands’, or ‘buts’.

He LOVES me!

Sometimes recognizing that love, joy, and peace comes … in saying “no.”

As a person who generally does not make habit of reading the forwards to books, I’m extremely glad that I actually read the one at the front of Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. This entire book has grabbed my attention and my heart. I’m sure I will share other parts of this book as I continue reading, but for today I just can’t stop thinking about the very first paragraph of the forward by Beth Clark:

“People who want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”

What so captured my attention about this paragraph is how well it lines up with First Trinity‘s Core Value that “all people matter” and directly connected it to the idea of “transforming our world” in our mission statement. We also see through this that a transformation of our world is actually possible when we focus on doing so–as both our mission statements and the forward to this book suggest–one life at a time.

Author Katie Davis, a 22-year old American mother to thirteen (yes, you read that right, THIRTEEN) adopted Ugandan children and founder of Amazima Ministries in Uganda, is one of those world-changers… and she does it one life at a time.

Later on in her book she shares some humbling statistics of people living in poverty around the world:

143 million orphaned children + 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases + 8.5 million who work as child slaves or prostitutes + 2.3 million children who live with HIV

= 164.8 million needy children in the world.

As Katie says in her book, “At first glance that looks like a big number…” I agree. It seems like an impossible number, a number to big to wrap our minds around, and a number that surely I can’t do anything about!

However, 2.1 BILLION people on this earth claim to be Christians. “The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for ONE child, there would not be any statistics left.”

EIGHT PERCENT! That’s all it would take.

Do you truly believe that all people matter? Who’s life can you change today? Maybe it’s a smile and kind word to the cashier that seems to be having a bad day. Maybe it’s a hug for a grieving friend or a hot meal for someone hungry. Or maybe it’s sponsoring a child in Haiti or Uganda or even the US to go to school and be fed or rescuing a child out of sex trafficking. One life at a time, we can transform our world, through the power of God’s Living Word along with the gifts and talents, passions and desires, resources and time he’s given us. Will you join me?

Let’s change the world and love as Jesus did, living with the conviction that

every

life

matters!

“I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person. So I keep stopping and loving one person at a time. Because this is my call as a Christian.” ~ Katie Davis

Tag: Uganda

Saying No: When Perfection is Imperfect {31 Days of Imperfection – Day 9}

All People Matter