Tag: worry

Lent

Giving Up Idolatry

Rebekah Freed

Back at the beginning of this blog series, I talked about how at times it would be hard to share that I was giving up something, because it would be admitting that I struggle with it.  All of these have a hint of that struggle, but this one seems especially challenging.  Who wants to say they struggle with idolatry?!?

When I first think of idolatry I think of the Old Testament picture we get of this where people literally would bow down to wooden or metal statues or items.  They would keep certain things in their homes because they thought it appeased all these false gods.  It all seems so foreign to us.  But is it really?

While we may not get on our needs and literally bow down to our television or cell phone, how often, with our time and focus and energy, do we worship these created things?  We may not collect all of our gold together and melt it down to create a giant cow, but like those in the Bible who did this, how easy it is to try to take things in our own hands when we feel like God isn’t coming through in the time frame WE think He should.

The picture of what an idol looks like has changed, but we are just as tempted to have them now as they were thousands of years ago.  One thing that has helped me identify, and try to get rid of idols, came through the song “Clear the Stage” sung in the video below by Jimmy Needham.   The bridge says this:

“Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.”

When you put it that way, suddenly I realize perhaps I have more idols than I’d ever like to admit. Occasionally, while hard, it is helpful to sit down and use these questions to ask God to open my eyes to the idols in my life.

What do we put before God?  The list some days could be great.

What do I want with all my heart?  What I find fascinating with this one is that some of the things I list for this one are also things that God wants with all his heart. Yet, even the pursuit of the things of God can become idols; my ministry can even become an idol, if my heart doesn’t long for Jesus even more that these things or if I try to do things on my own apart from God.

What are the things we can’t stop thinking of?  Worry can be an idol. Perfectionism. Myself.  What other people think of me.  Fear.  These things aren’t just “good things to give up” … they’re idols. I have to remind myself of that.

What do I give all my love?  And this is where it all comes together… it’s about love.  What will get my love and devotion and attention?

Jesus, clear the stage.  Take that #1 place.  I give up these idols and pray that you would give me faith to trust completely in You. Help me give you all my love!
In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

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Joy, Lent

SUNDAY JOY: I Choose TRUTH!

Rebekah Freed

When people count the 40 days of Lent (such as me and this blog series of 40 Days of Giving Up), it doesn’t include the Sundays.  The thought process behind this is that even though Lent is a somewhat solemn time to focus on the sacrifice of Jesus in his death, each Sunday of the year, including those in Lent, is to be like a mini-Easter celebration.   So, on the Sundays during this Lent season, I’ll take a break from “giving up”.

Today, I want you to think about the number 6.  Keep thinking about the number 6.  When you go throughout today think about the number 6, over and over and over.  When you brush your teeth…. when you get the car… when you’re in church (I guess you can take a break to listen to Pastor’s sermon)… when you’re eating lunch… when you’re watching TV… constantly think about the number 6.

Now let’s say you did that for a whole week… constantly thinking about the number 6.  Then, all of the sudden, next Sunday, I told you to just STOP thinking about the number 6.   It would be practically impossible.  After focusing on it so much for a whole week, you couldn’t NOT think about it if you tried.  And when you would try you would then fail, because in trying to not think about 6, you actually think about 6, and then get frustrated that you can’t stop thinking about 6.  Which, again, would be thinking about 6.

This is how it can be when we’re trying to give up these hard things that are so ingrained in us… things like worry and pride and busyness.  If we couldn’t even “stop thinking about 6”, how could we ever just “give up worry”.

BUT, what if instead of just telling you to stop thinking about 6, next week I told you to START thinking about the number 9 instead?  When you brush your teeth…9  When you get the car…9.  When you’re in church… 9. When you’re eating lunch…9.  Constantly think about the number 9. At first you might slip up at times and think about 6 instead of 9, but then you could refocus on 9 and before you knew it, 6 would be less and less in your mind as 9 overtook it.

So many of these things I’m choosing to give up this Lent are based in lies. Lies about myself, lies about God, lies about the world and the people around me.  If I simply try to stop believing those lies, I will never actually succeed. BUT if I shift my focus on truth, slowly those lies will fade and loose their power.  Sure I’ll slip up, but more and more I’ll be able to catch myself and refocus my attention.

When I find myself worried, I can remind myself that my God provides everything I need.  When I over-commit to things and am way to busy, I can remember the truths God shares about the value of rest, and make adjustments to my schedule.  When I get caught up in pride and selfish-ambition, I can focus on the truth that God alone is powerful and worthy and ask Him to give me a spirit of humility and service.

Yes, I give up all these things, but only when I choose truth instead, will I find any success.

Jesus, help us give up these things by imprinting Your truth on our hearts.  In Your Name we pray, Amen!

Lent, Music

Blissfully Unaware – Giving Up Worry

Rebekah Freed

I recently joined the Buffalo Philharmonic Chorus and have truly enjoyed singing in an ensemble regularly again. One of the pieces we’re doing at our concert this Sunday is a 3-movement piece by Bernstein featuring a collection of Psalms sung in Hebrew. No matter what order we rehearse the movements in, the second one is the one that always plays over and over in my head for days after a rehearsal.  

A soloist and the women start by singing the well-known Psalm 23, when suddenly they are interrupted by the men singing Psalm 2.  We go from peaceful sheep in green pastures by still waters to “why do the nations rage?!?” with quite a different tone. Part of the way into the men’s psalm, the women come back in recounting the Lord as their Shepherd again over the top of the chaos described in Psalm 2.  While the words are powerful (especially when you look at them in English together), it suddenly meant so much more when I saw the musical markings as the women come back in. Typically the music may say something like “fast and crisp” or “bright sound.”  In this section we are instructed by the composer to come in singing “blissfully unaware of threat“. (You can listen to this movement here performed by the Taipei City Symphony.)

In my mind, this musical note isn’t suggesting being naive about the danger, but rather, of remembering in Whose arms you rest as the “nations rage”. A sheep doesn’t spend all of it’s days freaking out about the potential dangers around them, and even if they do, there is absolutely nothing they could do on their own to protect themselves from the things that might attack them.  They have to depend on their shepherd.  

The same is true for us. 

  
So today in my Lenten journey, I give up worry. I give up freaking out about things over which I have no control. I give up wondering when things will happen in my life.  I give up worrying about our own “raging nations” in the world today. I give up unproductive concern for loved ones.  Worrying about things doesn’t make any potential threat go away. 

Instead as the troubles come, I pray that I can simply rest content in my Shepherd’s arms… that I find myself blissfully unaware… abiding in His love. 

Adonai r-oi, (The Lord, My Shepherd), even when I walk through the valleys of life, may I do so without fear, because I can trust that You are with me.  Help me today, give up my worry and replace it with trust. No matter what is going on around me or what happens in this life, may I rest secure knowing that I will dwell in Your house, forever. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

  

Poetry/Songs

Perspective

Rebekah Freed

5:01am

Sitting at the gate at the Wichita airport.

 

 

10 feet away

A uniformed man holds back tears

As his parents say “goodbye”

Hopefully not for the last time

They leave

Embraced in each others’ arms

He fidgets .

Alone

Adjusting his uniform

Glancing around nervously

Trying to be strong

 

 

Seconds later

One more comes around the corner

This one with a wife

Her shoulders already shaking with grief

57 minutes till our flight departs

57 minutes of agony

Followed by months, maybe more

Of separation

 

 

And my biggest concern on this snowy day is whether or not I’ll make it to Buffalo or will have to work from Wichita, around my family, in a safe, warm house, for an extra day or so.

 

 

Perspective.

Devotional

One Thing

Rebekah Freed

You probably know the story pretty well.  Jesus shows up to his friends’ house for a visit.  Martha runs off and begins preparing the meal in the kitchen.  Mary goes and listens to Jesus.  Martha gets mad, and starts complaining to Jesus.  Instead of agreeing, Jesus says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better…” 

 

 

I think I’ve probably heard this story over a hundred times.  That’s not to mention times it’s come up in conversations such as, “Well, there goes ‘Martha’ again.”  Or, “I sure do wish I could be like Mary more and just sit at Jesus’ feet.”

 

 

So when I began to read this story this morning I almost just skimmed right though it thinking, “Been there, read that, keep on going.”  But something caught my attention.  A four word phrase:

“one thing is needed”

 

 

“What is that one thing?” I wondered.

Well, Jesus of course. 

 

 

And I, again, went back to thinking about the many lessons/sermons I’ve heard, and books I’ve read talking about how we just need to sit at Jesus’ feet.

 

 

But today, I had a different train of thought with this story.  Go with me here for a minute.  So, it’s kind of obvious that the “one thing” is Jesus right.  So he’s saying, “I am the only thing you need.” 

 

 

I thought about it maybe as an invitation to Mary almost of saying, “Okay Mary, I’m all that’s needed to get everything done.  So, right come sit with me in the living room for a while so we can attend to what needs to happen here.  Then, when we’re done here, I’ll still the be the “One Thing” needed to help get everything done in the kitchen.  And then, when we finish there, the beds need to be made up, right.  Yes, even in making the beds, I’ll be the “One Thing” needed there as well.  Just follow me.  I’m all that’s needed and I’ll show you how you can help me accomplish the tasks before us.”

 

 

Yes, it seems that there are definitely good lessons to be learned about simply sitting at Jesus’ feet instead of being “worried” and “upset” about the many things to be done.  But maybe, just maybe, if we just realized that in the midst of those “many things,”  Jesus was more than enough, we wouldn’t be so worried and upset anyway. 

 

 

So as we head towards Christmas next week and the “many things” start to become “TOO many things” remember to pause and turn to the “One” who is more than enough for all our “things.”  Ask him what the next step is in today… and then the next… and then the next … and then the next.  And soon, we realize that the many things have been accomplished as we just focused on the One Thing most needed.

 

 

Only One thing is needed. 

Choose what is better. 

It will not be taken from you.

 

 

(I sure hope you were able to follow my thought process there.)

31 Days of Hope

Hope {Day 19} – Made New

Rebekah Freed

I’ve heard the stories again and again.

Each one so distinct and unique, yet, so similar at the core.

Something happened-

Many things maybe.

Something so horrifying it rarely,

if ever,

gets any attention in conversation.

Yet, it gets all the attention in the heart.

 

Neglect.

Rape.

Abuse.

 

The death of a loved one.

The death of a marriage.

The death of a friendship.

 

An eating disorder.

Depression.

Self-injury.

 

A monstrous mistake.

A horrific memory.

A crippling fear.

 

“I’m not good enough.”

“Will I ever change?”

 

The shame is too much.

The guilt is too heavy.

 

Forgotten.

Alone.

Afraid.

 

Whether it was “their fault” or not, the pain obviously runs deep as the story eventually flows out. But it’s not just “them.” 

 

It’s me

and

it’s YOU. 

 

We all have had those secret things buried deep in our hearts… those times when we seriously wonder…

 

Is there any hope?

 

Can God REALLY do anything with this messed up life of mine?!? 

Through the darkness comes a marvelous Light responding:

“YES! THERE IS HOPE!  I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW!

No matter what mess you’ve gotten yourself into… no matter what anyone has done to you… no matter how much sin has messed up your life and messed up your heart, I can, and will, through Christ, make something BEAUTIFUL out of your life! 

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

 

Isaiah 43:19 See I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Things
by Gungor

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll even find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

 

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

Bekah's Heart, Devotional, Music

Joyfullyblessed… To Let Go!

Rebekah Freed

For those of you who are still getting to know me out here in NY, you will soon learn that I love music (and writing really long blogs).  I love playing my guitar. I love attempting to play piano. I love writing songs. I love listening to music (of many kinds).  I simply enjoy music.  Whether playing, listening to it live, or jammin’ out to the radio in the car, music just seems to convey life in a way that doesn’t happen any other way.

 

Recently, I’ve enjoyed listening to Francesca Battistelli’s CD called My Paper Heart. While many of her songs are awesome, one in particular, “I’m Letting Go” stuck out to me today and seems to fit my crazy life the past few months.

Check out some of the lyrics from this song:

This is a giant leap of faith Trusting and trying to embrace the fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

 

Chorus: I’m letting go of the life I planned for me and my dreams
I’m losing control of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling but that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I”m falling and this is the life for me

“Trying to embrace the fear of the unknown.”  This phrase triggers many thoughts for me.

I think of my friend’s blog post that I read this morning talking about how instead of shrinking back in fear we can have courage to stand firm and go through whatever scary experience life brings us.

I think about the fear I’ve unconsciously let myself be held captive by this past week and the peace in being set free from it.

I think about the “What-ifs” and “How’ll” that were mentioned in staff devotions on Tuesday… and the many “Whatifs” and “How’lls” I’ve been asking:

  • “What if I fail this year on my internship?” (While a ridiculously broad worry and very unlikely, I know that all of you, my intern friends out there, have had this thought cross your mind!)
  • “How will I have enough money to pay for tuition and then after this, how will I ever get my student loans paid off?
  • ”What will happen after internship?” (Kind of long term… maybe I should at least let my worries be more time appropriate. 🙂

On and on I could go listing one after another, but they all really can be summarized by this one:

“What if God really ISN’T enough for me?”

Well, when you put it that way, it seems really ridiculous to even think about.  Of course God is enough… He’s GOD!!!  But I still question and I still worry and long to understand!

That’s where we get back to why I love this song so much.  It doesn’t ignore the uneasy feeling that often remains when trying to trust in our Almighty God, the Ultimate Provider, Comforter, and Friend.  We want to trust, but many times, trust really does make us feel like we’re falling….but, as the song says…

“That’s what it’s like to believe”

And it ends saying that “this is the life for me.”

 

As God’s children, we are called sometimes to a crazy life… not one of security and complete understanding of how God will make everything work, but rather  one of freefall trust… taking that “leap of faith” and … giving in to “God’s gravity.”  In 1 Peter, God even tells us that we shouldn’t be surprised to face times when it’s hard to believe: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial that you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participated in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (4:12-13)

Below are some other verses that I’ve found helpful recently in this “freefall” called trust.  Maybe by holding onto these and the rest of God’s Word we can let God get rid of our fear and replace it with peace in knowing that He really DOES have everything in control.

 

God, please grant us the grace to be able to let go and believe!  AMEN!

 

Isaiah 46:3-4 “Listen to me… you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth.  Even to your old age and gray hairs I AM HE.  I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

 Hebrews 2:14-15 “Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might… free those who all their lives where held in slavery by their fear…”

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Matthew 6:25,27,33  “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body what you will wear. … Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  … Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”

(The pictures are of me and a fellow camp counselor climbing to the top of a 50 foot pole and then jumping off a couple summers ago at camp.  They just seemed to fit with this blog.)